Job 16: How We Comfort Others

Today’s Scripture Reading: Job 16

² “I have heard many things like these;
you are miserable comforters, all of you!
³ Will your long-winded speeches never end?
What ails you that you keep on arguing?
⁴ I also could speak like you,
if you were in my place;
I could make fine speeches against you
and shake my head at you.
⁵ But my mouth would encourage you;
comfort from my lips would bring you relief.
⁶ “Yet if I speak, my pain is not relieved;
and if I refrain, it does not go away.

When I was 12 years old, my grandmother had passed away in front of my own eyes. Our family was gathered at her bedside in the hospital as we worshipped and prayed together in her last moments and we could see that she was also singing the hymns with us as she struggled to breathe her last. As I witnessed her life slowly slip away, the wrinkles on her face slowly disappeared. There was a deep sense of peace in that moment – the feeling of waves calming. Her struggle and pain was no more and she would be at rest with the Lord. But for our family, the long mourning had just begun. With wailing and floods of tears all of her children and grandchildren gathered around cried out.

According to our faith, why should we mourn? Since we believe in eternal life that comes through Christ, do we mourn because she is dead and never to be seen again? No, it might be a sense that we simply cannot see them even if we would like to. We cannot simply make a phone call to the loved ones we miss to hear their voices. It is more that they will be missed. We are unsure when we will be able to see them again.

You Don’t Need to Preach.

Wise proverbs, parables, nor preaching can soothe such grief of loss. Amos’ pain is much the same. It did not matter what his friends were saying to him, whether it be true or not. There in that moment, Amos needed friends, not preachers. Friends that would cry with him, hear him even in his irrationality and even in his cursing and blasphemy. To be the calm during his storm, just as God is always calm during all of ours.

Listening is Comfort.

If we must be of comfort to someone in our lives, it is not what you can say or do in that moment to help cheer them up. There is no formula that will contribute to their healing. Instead it is peace, a calmness, and a steadiness that helps to ease the pain and difficulties we go through. What can we say to console those who are in mourning, grief, pain, bitterness, anger, and regret and do not have the assurance of such eternity in those they love? The answer is, almost nothing. Sometimes it is just being there with them that matters the most. To cry with our friends, to mourn with them, to listen for them and to help them to know they are not alone.

If we are the ones who are going through such grief, may the Lord assure you of his steadfast love. When there are storms in our lives, the Lord is the one who commands the waves and calms the seas. As the Father has also felt the pain of loss of his only Son, may he give you rest in his presence and soothe the pain that no-one else could understand more.

Lord God of the Heavenly Armies,
who is as mighty as you, Lord?
Your faithfulness surrounds you.
You rule over the majestic sea;
when its waves surge, you calm them.
– Psalm 89:8-9

One Year Bible: JOSHUA 19:1-20:9, LUKE 19:28-48, PSALM 88:1-18, PROVERBS 13:12-14

Photo by: Rob Bye, www.unsplash.com/robbye1