T H E O P H I L U S

9 “Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts— 10 no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep. 11 Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave. 12 As you enter the home, give it your greeting. 13 If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. 15 Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.

– Matthew 10:9-15

Many ministers and pastors of the past and today struggle deeply with a sense of lacking belonging. It is darkly assumed that the pastoral journey is a lonely place and that our calling has driven us to be isolated and are destined for a life of feeling irrelevant and insignificant. Not just the minister’s journey, but the call of a Christian’s life as one decreases in self needs so that God may increase in our lives. The passages that we see from Matthew 10, Mark 6, and Luke 9 that describe to us a calling of the disciples and their send off into ministry by Jesus seems to hold much weight to this idea, but is also terribly misconceived. For a leader to think they do not benefit from friends, is seriously problematic and rather completely contradictory to the bible. When we look at many of the great prophets and leaders of the bible, they are consistently provided friends to work alongside them. Moses had Aaron and Joshua, David had Jonathan, Paul had Luke and there are many more indications of friendships and partnerships. These relationships were inseparable, and they served together for the Lord with utmost love and grace.

Building the Right Relationships

Willfully isolated leadership is often a sign of prideful arrogance. The idea that I do not need or desire any friendships with people are a setup for complete failure in ministry. It is a lie to think that because our call is so big that we don’t have time for friends. Every great leader requires deep accountability. A heart willing to build deep friendships is a sign of humility. On the other hand, some of us may be in situations where even though we desire that sort of friendship we cannot find it where we are. It is in that case that we must be wise about where we make friends. Unfortunately, your congregation is not the place where you should be looking for friends, although if you do it can be a great blessing and strength to your ministry! The issue is, the feeling of irrelevancy and insignificance in the midst of a congregation who is not willing to accept you or your teachings comes also from putting our expectations in the wrong place. Our significance comes only in our acceptance in Christ Alone. Many pastors and leaders deeply suffer from isolation because we put our signficance in human acceptance and the approval of others. The moment we lean on our acceptance from humanity as our significance for a life lived, we will continue to see our demise and will end up either arrogant because we have received so much of it, or bitter and grossly negative because we have none. Our strength and fuel for this life on earth must only come from knowing the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:19).

Today, even though the house in which you serve may be divided against you and though times may seemtough, do not forget to put your trust and confidence in the knowledge of the unsurpassable love which the Lord has for you in Jesus Christ. It is not you who changes people nor saves people – it is entirely by the power of the Holy Spirit and by the will of God. Therefore preach boldly, and be tenacious in your ministry. If you are rejected, shake the dust off your feet and continue on the journey with humility, and set your hopes on that which is ahead of us – your home, in heaven.